My Image Is Ruined
They didn't get it from me, I assure you. I can manage to keep the checkbook mostly balanced and I can double or half a recipe, but that's the extent of my mathematical talents.
Trouble is, they both have homework. Homework they need help with.
I live in mortal fear of the call from the kitchen table:
"MOM! I don't get this!"
Like I do?
Language arts- I'm there. Social studies- encyclopedia is my middle name. Music, art, computers? Yes, honey, I'll be right with you.
Science? Well, besides that one project that went wrong...
But math is undermining my status as The Woman Who Knows Everything. I'm convinced that the wonderful parental relationship I have with my kids is due to their belief that I am omniscient. Mommy Sees All.
How else can I insure safe behavior? I know what you do when you get around the corner. How else do I garner respect? You better not say what you're thinking. How else do I instill the proper awe? (said from a portion of the house where darling knows I can't see him/her come down the stairs) Just turn right around and go put on a decent shirt.
Mathematics is teaching my children one thing, and one thing only.
Mommy don't know jack 'bout numbers. But she can put in a pretty good bluff when she needs to.