Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Keep Your Bleach-infused Eyewash Handy

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Taming Kate

Missie: What Kate needs to tame is falling out of her peasant blouse.

Robyn: Apparently, to tame Kate you have to rip off your shirt and wrestle her to the ground- but keep your sidearm in place in case you have to shoot her.

Dark Challenge

Missie: The only thing that isn’t wrong with this cover is the font.

Robyn: The name of your colorist? Pleeeeease, darling? Or at least the name of the salon?

A Silver Mirror

Missie: Why is he sucking her eyebrow?

Robyn: God, I'm fabulous. No wonder you love me.
Golden Fancy
Robyn: She "escaped the clutches of a lusty Mormon???" Explain that, Mitt Romney!
Missie: Joan Collins escapes the lusty Mormon reaching through the McDonald’s drive through.
Up next: Half-breeds gone wild!


Anonymous Becki said...

I want to read the one about the lusty Mormon now. I mean, I haven't known any Mormon men in the, you know, biblical sense, and I'm sure they're perfectly manly and all, but still. It's not every day you hear "Lusty Mormon." I think I'm going to walk around all day tomorrow trying to work that phrase into conversation.

9:12 PM  
Blogger December Quinn said...

No sh*t, Becki. I want to read any of these, but especially the one about the lusty Mormon.

1:30 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Lusty Mormons? Now I'd agree, that's not a phrase you hear every day. Wow. :)

3:32 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

I must be sick, I actually like these covers.
Well, the guy in the drive-thru is a bit much, lusty Mormon or not, for I know what the Smart Bitches would say about that circle...

4:28 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Think, ladies. Surely we can turn Lusty Mormon into some kind of euphemism and when it is all over the internet, we can prove we invented it!

5:30 AM  
Blogger StarvingWriteNow said...

How about inventing "Lusty Mormon" lingerie? All black and white and bonnets included!

Or we could write a groovy self-help book entitled: Pleasuring the Lusty Mormon or The Idiot's Guide to Lusty Mormon Sex or Lust Along Salt Lake: The Hidden Sex Lives of Mormons.

As for the other covers, I'm guessing Taming Kate is a Shakespeare ripoff, and that chick with the mirror is waaay to busy checking herself out to be interested in that guy.

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Okay, I was giggling until I read "Lusty Mormon," and now I'm surpressing a giant guffaw so I don't get fired!!

So for fun I just googled "Lusty Mormon," and *shock and awe* you weren't the first entry!! The first had the lusty Mormon going to New York and coming out as a gay man, or something like that. Hey, that would totally work for that cover if the heroinne was Liza Minelli.

8:54 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

You guys are too much!

Becki, let me know if you were able to successfully work the LM phrase into a conversation.

9:34 AM  
Blogger December Quinn said...

I can totally work the phrase "lusty Mormon" into a blog post at some point in the next week. You betcha.

4:26 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Hmmm...Is that a challenge?

1:16 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Okay, okay. Calm down. We'll have to start a support group called the Lusty Mormon Foundation or have Dr. Phil diagnose us with Lusty Mormon syndrome.

And Lust Along Salt Lake? I'm totally buying that book.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

You ladies have fun and let me know how that support group works out for ya. No way am I joining anything with the words lusty or Mormon in the name.

Don't you people have lives?!?! (ha!)

5:14 PM  

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