Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Random Musings

I've had a great lazy, rainy Sunday with my family. Church this morning, our traditional after-service pigout at Cici's Pizza (I don't cook on Sunday nights, so we stock up at lunch) and, oh, yeah. Hurried cleaning so we could show our house to potential buyers on 30 minutes' notice.

I've been a grouch about the move. Make no mistake- I HATE our house. It's a small, brown and red brick monstrosity. The white linoleum that shows a bad thought in the kitchen is only surpassed by the puke and avocado green tile in the bathroom that defies all attempts at decorating. But it was what we could afford at the time, and it was A HOUSE. A real house. When we were finally getting to the point where we could fix some of those things, hubby had a job change. In a year or so, it will work into something good, but right now the pay sucks.

So we're moving into a townhouse that will cut our bills by a third. It's small, but it's not ugly. And the kids' rooms and bathrooms are hidden upstairs. And there's a pool. And we'll be away from the frat boys who rented a party house two doors down. But when I was lamenting what I considered a step down, I thought about Katrina. My marriage is great, my kids are fabulous, and we're together and healthy in a home of our own. So what if its a rental townhouse? I have much to be thankful for. Cici's apple dessert pizza among them.

No particular reason to post Ted King. I just like to look at him. Is that wrong?

My poor husband has to put up with my adolescent crushes on actors. When we rented Rundown, he very kindly called me to the t.v. so I wouldn't miss the Rock ripping off his shirt. When he wandered through the living room during a swoon-worthy moment of Phantom of the Opera, he asked if I needed a bib. I said no, I need you to leave. Or get a mask.

I like a lot of things about romance novels. I loathe a lot of things, too. Case in point- The Punishing Kiss. Getting caught up in emotion to the point where Tea and Crumpets are imminent? Fine. Getting so angry the hero has no choice but to lay a big 'ol slobbery kiss on the woman who's just made him so mad he can't see straight? Who came up with this idea? What man says, "Yeah, I'm enraged. I'm yelling at you, calling you ten kinds of idiot, and I need to teach you a lesson about who's da man around here, so I'm gonna lay The Punisher on you. And you and your bruised and swollen lips are gonna like it."

I've made my husband mad. Real mad. Veins throbbing in the forehead mad. Never once has he wanted to plant one on me. Not with his lips, anyway.

And if any man ever tried to end an argument by forcing an angry kiss on me? Watch your back, baby.


Blogger Bernita said...

Just finished one like that.
Guy had just met her about 5 minutes before - walks into her secluded house, raging mad, in the middle of the night out of a rain storm, hot to stop his brother marrying her he thinks.
And the guy is a lawyer?
Anyone one who tried that on me would get a round-house slap, a fist to the gut or a knee in alley, or all three.

4:02 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Don't tell me, let me guess. She succumbs to raging guilt because her body betrayed her and she responded. That's how she knew it was true lurve. GAH!

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Sounds like we're living parallel lives, Robyn. We've thought about selling, haven't decided yet. I'm leaning toward trying not to because it's such a hassle. (30 minute super-cleaning-bursts are bad for the soul. *g*) Hope your house sells quickly and that you're able to buy a new home soon.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

You got it. AND he gets to see her nekkid,in her bath, because she falls in the mud and TWISTS HER ANKLE.
Your new place sounds so nice.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

Who are these women who kiss these strange men 2 minutes after meeting them? Do these authors find their heroines at FlooziesRUs or what? Granted, when I first laid eyes on my husband, my first thought was something like, "Gerwahhduhhhuhuhh,", but my first COHERENT thought was, "He is so adorable with his big blue eyes," not "Gee, I hope he gets really p.o.'d at me soon so he can crush my lipoids into my teeth with a big ole smacker!"

And Robyn, now my husband is talking about selling our house that we just moved into 1.5 yrs ago because the housing prices are so high in our neighborhood that we may be able to make $70k on our house if we sell now. I would like a bigger house, but I HATE MOVING. We have moved so much in our 13 yrs that Bedoins have told us to cut back. Just entertain yourself with the thoughts of the cool new house you will be getting where the only thing avocado is the guacamole in your fridge.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

Okay, I actually didn't mean "Bedoins" (what's a bee-doin anyway?), I meant Bedouin. As in the tribe. However you spell it. Oh, well. Gimme a break. It's hard to be startlingly beautiful and intelligent too. :)

10:01 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Is it any wonder why Missie is my best friend? Incredible beauty is a BURDEN, I tell you!

Thanks for the good wishes. Amy, I'll even send you Lani's ARC when I'm done with it to cheer you up!

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Sharon said...

The townhouse sounds very nice, Robyn! I hope you'll be happy there. I'm sorry you had to sell your house. My first house was small, old but it was MINE and I still miss it.

And along the lines of the raging kiss, what about the mad as hell sex? I mean c'mon, does anyone really enjoy sex or are in the mood for sex when they're pissed as hell?

WHen I'm mad at hubby, he'd lose a testicle if he came near me wanting nookie!

11:09 AM  
Blogger Missie said...


Ha! I am soooo with you, sister! I would love to actually read a heroine who says something like, "I am getting ready to open a can of whoop-hiney on you if you don't get out of my sight in the next ten seconds. And if you even think about touching me, I am going to rip off your arm and beat you over the head with the bloody end of it." There are no thoughts of romance in my head when I am devising clever ways of offing my husband and disposing of the body. :)

(everyone knows I am kidding right? I would never actually kill my husband...maim, perhaps...inflict severe pain upon, probably...make suffer until he cries like a little girl, yeah...but not actually kill. I mean, I love the guy.)

11:21 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

I'm so glad there are other women like me in the world. If hubby wanted tea and crumpets when I was mad at him, I'd be thinking two words: Lorena Bobbitt.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Heather Diane Tipton said...

Robyn, I'm sorry about having to sell your house. But the town house sounds nice. God knows what He is doing hun, it's all for your good. ;-)

And given my living situation I can say that to you, LOL, without you saying well what do you know about it?? LOL

Oh... did I mention y'all crack me up??

9:38 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Heather, I wouldn't say that to you. If anything, reading the posts over at Writeminded have made me realise how many people go through the same thing. We're still good, honest, decent people- stuff just happens and you deal with it.

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

ROFL on the punishing kiss. :)

Good luck with the house situation!!

6:54 PM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

How 'bout those old movies where the guy picks up the woman, puts her on his knee, and gives her a few smacks? And you thought the punitive kiss was bad ;o)

10:06 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

OLD movies, Doug?
Seems to me I've read that scene recently...I wonder if I can find the book...

3:46 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Taming the shrew stuff, oh yeah. John Wayne was big on that in his movies, wasn't he? I remember that scene in McClintock where he spanks Maureen O'Hara in front of the whole town.

There's a relative somewhere back in the family tree whose husband was a spanker. She waited until he had passed out one night, then sewed him in the sheets with reinforced thread and literally beat him awake. He never spanked her again.

6:42 AM  

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