Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Titles That Will Make You Twitch

Harlequin Presents.

Need we say more?

A Virgin for the Taking

Robyn: Which is sooo much better than a virgin for the sacrificing.
Missie: Um, I'm this a Viking novel? Or maybe medieval Scotland? No? Mmm, kay. Got nothing then.

The Forced Bride

Robyn: I can't tell if he's backing her up against a park bench or a radiator.

Missie: That title, combined with the author's name, just gives me the willies.

The Italian Millionaire's Virgin Wife

Robyn: Thank you for letting me know his nationality and financial status right in the title. I'm sure it never would have come up anywhere in the book.

Missie: All the virgins I know totally wear slinky red dresses and let guys carry them. It's like in the rules of the club or something.

The French Count's Pregnant Bride

Robyn: Since she's obviously not a virgin, I suppose the Count's not as good at this as the Italian Millionaire.

Missie: Did the French Count Nair his chest or is he just now going through puberty?

Pregnancy of Passion

Robyn: As opposed to Pregnancy of Test Tube? Pregnancy of Passed Out After Jello Shots?

Missie: Mommy, why are there naked people on our Christmas tree ornament?

Blackmailed by Diamonds, Bound by Marriage

Robyn: I don't need to read the book now, right? The title told me everything.

Missie: Not to be confused with Embezzled by Emeralds, Bound by Handcuffs.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I really want to read the last one. Especially to find out how an inanimate object like a diamond actualy manages to blackmail someone. I guess it's some kind of mind control, where it forces its minions to cut letters out of the newspaper to send threatening notes.

It's the perfect crime--think of the secrets a diamond might overhear, because nobody worries about ROCKS getting ideas.

---December Quinn, who is sick of re-signing into beta blogger all the @&%£! time.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Dely said...

I have been reading this blog for a while now. But being the coward I am I was scared to comment because my comment could never be witty enough.

(Also I have horrible grammer)

But I found my long lost courage and I had to comment. When I read this blog I was laughing so hard my roommate (I'm in college) looked at me like I had three heads.

I Just wanted to stop by and say thank you Robyn and Missie for making me laugh.

God Bless

5:06 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Glad you commented and let us know you're out there. Thanks for reading and laughing. Come back soon.

Missie, who is also tired of signing in this new blogger google dealy thingie and if the other thing wasn't broke, why fix it? Only to mess with my mind and make me have something else to remember? Hmmm?

Maybe I should have signed it Missie, who goes on nonsensical rants much of the time.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Dely, what a nice comment. Thank you.

Signed Robyn, who is on a diet-no, scratch that, lifestyle change and is so hungry she could EAT these covers with no frosting.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

"Embezzled by Emeralds"
Definitely, Missie. Could have fun with that.
"Raunched by Rubies,"
"Seduced by Saphires,"...
A series about the Family Jewels.

4:59 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Ostracized by Opals? Purloined by Pearls?

7:14 AM  
Blogger StarvingWriteNow said...

"Pregnancy of Passion."

Hmm... either she's pregnant due to the passion, or her passion is so huge there's no other way to describe it than PREGNANT.

Maybe we should start using that term more. Like: "I'm pregnant with delight" or "That's one pregnant burger you've got there."

8:22 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

Or, as I have had cause to use on my own self recently, "why does my butt look pregnant?"

9:36 AM  
Anonymous Becki said...

I was going to call MY first book "Pregnancy of Passed Out after Jello Shots." Thanks a LOT, ladies, now I have to go back to the drawing board.

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

LOL! And you said you were bad at titles, Missie. Man... :)

4:08 PM  
Blogger Girl con Queso said...

Okay, the titles are funny. But the commentary comments...hilarious!!!

7:37 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

LOL. I had to read this one out loud to my writer friend.
I think I'm going to avoid the word "pregnant" in my vocabulary.....for various reasons.
LOVE the Family Jewels idea
like Pregnant By Pearls.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Meg said...

And to think that people actually read this stuff!!!

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Jenny said...



Sorry. I feel much better now.

I'm ready for the expecting General's Pregnant Virgin Millionaire to come out.

11:53 AM  

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