Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Glass Slippers Freaking Hurt

When my daughter was little, a favorite pasttime of ours was to find Cinderella stories at the library. Did you know there are over 1500 versions of the story? From the original Chinese tale (small feet were apparently very hot in ancient Asia) to the French story on which Disney based their movie classic, Cinderella is everywhere.

There are Korean, Arabian, Japanese, British, and Egyptian versions. There is even an Irish version where the Cinder character is a guy. As for Americans, there are Southern, Cajun, and Appalachian variations. We read at least two a month for five years and never read the same story twice.

While I thoroughly enjoyed the special times with my daughter, part of me cringed at these tales. Cinderella was sweet. Cinderella was good. Cinderella was kind. Cinderella was a chump.

Why, oh why, did she not slip a little rat poison into stepmama's morning porridge? Shine that staircase so well that- oopsie. There goes a butt-ugly stepsister. Even if she wouldn't go for murder, didn't you just once wish that she'd spit in their tea?

My irritating usually right husband would point out the spiritual aspects of the story. She's turning the other cheek, loving her enemy, praying for deliverance with her hope always high, and she gets rewarded for it. Big Time.

But why, in this story, does good=doormat? Would there be a way for Cinderella to remain sweet and kind but stand up for herself as well? Granted, that takes the fun out of the fairy godmother and the mice, but Bippity-boppity seems an unreliable rescue vehicle. You get a glimpse of the good life you have every legal right to be living, then it's back to scullery maid, baby. Too bad. Hope you enjoyed your three pitiful hours. (I'm giving her an extra hour- most society balls didn't even start until 10pm!)

"No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true." Yes, honey. Dreams, a good lawyer, and a backbone.


Anonymous Amy said...

LOL Some excellent points you raise. I liked the polished staircase idea myself...

3:15 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

If Cinderella were written today, the author would definitely have her hocking a loogie in their teacups.

7:20 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

The meek shall inherit the dishes, the vacuuming, the eavestroughs,the preserves, the lawn mowing, the painting, the 38 foot extension ladder, the wall papering, the sewing machine, the thermometer, the grocery buggy, and - a nice tombstone.

6:23 AM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Don't know if Roald Dahl did a cover on Cinderella, but he did do a nice bit on Goldilocks. She breaks into the bears' house, tracks in filth, trashes the joint thoroughly. As payback, they eat her.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Kaitlin said...

Hello, ladies! Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your blog. I think I'm going to put it on my favorites on my blog so I can come back. Hope y'all have a wonderful weekend. :)

3:32 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Thank you, Kaitlin!

Doug, hope your back's better. I HAVE to find that Dahl book. I did read one creepy Cinderella where she puts an evil spell on the prince, but it didn't have the same punch as slippery staircases.

7:28 PM  
Blogger Douglas Hoffman said...

Hi Robyn,

Here's the link to the Roald Dahl book. And he did do Cinderella -- I simply don't remember what he did with it!

8:16 PM  
Anonymous Jo said...

hehe I like this one too. The girls I babysit love the princesses. Another thing..why is it always the good people who take a bite of an enchanted apple? Why couldn't good ole' Cinde slap that on her step-mother's breakfast tray? Why did those pesky birds follow snow white instead of the witch? Made no sense.


8:14 PM  

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