Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Monday, February 20, 2006

The Wrongest Covers in the History of Wrongness

With our special guest snarker, Sharon, we bring you the latest in our series of cringe inducing covers. These aren’t the usual cover clinches, however. These are just…wrong.

Breakfast With Santa



Robyn: Ten to one this is the creepy neighbor who seemed polite and kept to himself.

Missie: "You smell like beef and cheese! You're not the real Santa!"

Sharon: Yeah, I got fired. But you know, I hate #&*%^$ kids. I thought you should know before I marry your mom and all.

Bushwhacked Groom



Robyn: Homicide is the new foreplay.

Missie: This cover is so bad, it makes me want to find a good vein and a serrated edge.

Sharon: Personally, I'm rooting for her to shoot him. Anything to wipe that god awful, s**t eating grin off his face.

Getting it Right!



Robyn: Quit hitting me over the head. I GET it.

Missie: Uhmm, I don't get it.....Ooohhhh! Never mind.

Sharon: Ok really, that cover conjures some interesting thoughts on my part, but I can't share them and keep with the image of snarkling "clean." But with a cover like that, who needs the hero anyway? I'm thinking this woman is pretty, uh, self sufficient in the O department.

Tempting a Texan



Robyn: Eeeeeeewwwwww. Another example of how the art department has no idea what the book’s about. Or, apparently, the title.

Missie: I'm tempted not to read this book.

Sharon: Hmm he likes em young, I guess.

The Enchanted Land



Robyn: The enchanted land looks like it’s on fire. And hey, lady, tell your husband to save it for later. Your kid needs you.

Missie: "With him she crossed a wilderness, and for him she became a woman"...Implying she wasn't a woman before? And what's with the creepy looking clip-on monkey kid?

Sharon: Look buddy. Those ta tas are mine.

The Rana Look



Robyn: Nurse Bobby Jean knew if she brought back the eighties Dynasty look, she’d snag one of the residents of the Old Millionaire’s Retirement Center.

Missie: Rapunzel, Rapunzel...let me fix that wedgie for you.

Sharon: The Rana Look: The next exciting installment in the Electra series.

Up next: There are wolves about!

8 Comments:

Blogger Jolene*Marie said...

rotflolpimp!! (rollin on the floor, laughin out loud, peein in my pants) that was great. Gotta love the "Snag the man from the retirement home" bit. :)

~Jo

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG. These are a scream. But what an awful title--Bushwhacked Groom. He looks like Jim Carrey.

The Tempting a Texan was just...so wrong. Yikes.

4:13 AM  
Blogger Jolene*Marie said...

Yea, rotfl I love when the cover has not one thing to do with the book.

5:13 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

I love this blog.
That last is another of those guys who doesn't know what to do with his hands.

5:32 AM  
Anonymous Megan said...

LOL!

I don't think kids should be allowed on the covers of romance novels. That's just very, very creepy. And in the last cover, what's up with the circle within the clouds? Is that the moon over the sun?

Oh, and have you seen this article yet?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20060221/en_usatoday/romancenovelsforwomengetfranklysexual

7:05 AM  
Anonymous Megan said...

One more thing - I think the guy on the cover of "Bushwhacked Groom" looks more like George the Pharmacist from "Desperate Housewives." But I agree, she *should* shoot him to rub that smirk off his face.

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

*snort* Nice work, snarkers!

7:56 AM  
Blogger LotionBarBunny said...

I think I am going to pee my pants I am laughing so hard!!!

8:54 AM  

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