Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Can I Get An Amen?

Ladies,
Please let me know if you would be interested in signing up your men.
Together, we can make a difference.
Missie

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Jan 31, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY & DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAX.

Class 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat & Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 - After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6 - Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 - Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places & Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 - Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost
Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
Location to be determined

Class 10 - Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 - Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12 - How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 - How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14 - The Stove--- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM
location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

6 Comments:

Blogger Robyn said...

Let me make sure they get my husband's name spelled correctly.

Do they have any courses on dressing children? "Juice Stained Shirts and Ripped Jeans Are Not Proper Sunday Church Attire" or "Shades of Red- What Matches, What Doesn't."

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Kaitlin said...

LOL! I was reading this just chuckling away. I don't have a significant other, but I have a father, brother and guy friends who should all take these courses. :)

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Sharon said...

I'm embarassed beyond belief that I'm gonna admit this, but my husband would more likely sign ME up for those classes.

He uses the stove as much as I do, he always remembers important dates, I hate to shop, I'd make HIM parallel park, I don't like flowers, I can never find crap in my house, he usually does after dinner dishes, I uhm use the floor rather than the hamper, however I have a DESIGNATED spot on the floor! *g* And I never ever filled up ice trays.

However the session on the remote would be well worth signing him up for ;)

1:14 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG. This reminded me of tonight when I was out of something for dinner and he actually went to the STORE to buy it! ::shriek:: ::faint::

Wow, oh wow,

4:22 PM  
Blogger Camy Tang said...

LOLOLOL Missie, you're da bomb. The problem is that my husband is unusually domesticated. I'm the one not refilling the toilet paper roll. {blush}
Camy

8:53 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Ladies, ladies...
Those of you not filling the toilet paper roll are giving the rest of us a bad name! Stop the insanity, for the love of Pete!

Actually, my hub knows how to use the stove, he just doesn't know how to wipe it up. But he doesn't fill the tp roll. Once, I decided not to do it to see how long it would take him to, and the tp stayed on the back of the toilet for FOUR FREAKIN DAYS until I broke down and did it myself. What? It takes 2 seconds and you are SITTING THERE ANYWAY!!!!! I fail to see the hardship aspect of that chore.

I would like to see a class on "The Clothes Fairy--How Else Does the Laundry Make Its Way Into the Machine?" and "Dishes 101--They Don't All HAVE To Soak."

12:10 PM  

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