Out of the Mouths of Babes

Missie's son caught a glimpse of these and cried, "Dude! What kind of freaks on crack draw these covers? It's just not right!"

So wise, grasshopper. You have learned well.

Exposing the Executive's Secrets

Robyn: I have serious questions. Does anyone else hear bow-wow-chicka-chicka-bow music? And where did he get that hideous tie? Those lights- is he an executive stripper? You don't think the two dangling glasses and long necked wine bottle right in front of the package are subliminal, do you?

Missie: Memo from Harlequin Headquarters to its series authors: In light of recent comments made regarding our Trust Fund Affairs category romances, we felt it only fair to open up some different financial category romances so as not to offend anyone. Please submit your stories under one of the following headings, should you be interested: Soup Kitchen Flings, Government Cheese Dalliances, or Van Down By the River Romances. Next month, we will be accepting submissions to Barely Making It But On the Make, Paycheck to Paycheck Passion, and Hot Welfare Women.

The Right Brother

Robyn: As long as the right brother is someone else's brother, I'm good.

Missie: ...likes to poke his nose into his woman's eye. "That's what you get for dating my brother first!"

The Wolf's Promise

Robyn: "I promise I will poke out your eyeballs just because you annoy me."

Missie: ...is to what? Beat the crap out of me with his cane? Strangle me with his fluffy bluish cravat? He doesn't look sexy, he looks scary. Homicidal maniacs who fancy themselves animals are not keepers, people!

The Count's Charade

Robyn: Hope that bush isn't full of sticky pointy leaves. One, two, three, OW! One, two, three, OW!

Missie: So that's what happened to the guy from Highlander when the show was cancelled! Mystery solved!

Chain Reaction

Robyn: Oh, no, sir. Let me tell you that I SAW Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, and you, sir, are no Hugh Jackman!

Missie: So what, like he gets mad and strikes a pose and that causes lightning? Kinda like when the girl in Men In Black 2 was sad, it caused rain to fall? Is it like that? No? Oh....then I got nothin.

Devil in a Kilt

Robyn: "Okay, I know. I feel as stupid as you think I look, but I've got two kids to put through college. It's a living."

Missie's son: Look, It's Conan the Barbarian!

Missie: Somebody's having a wardrobe malfunction! Dude, look. Wear a shirt. Or a bra. Or a bra under a shirt. Whatever. But you're gonna poke somebody's eye out with that thing if you're not careful.