Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Never Work with Kids or Animals

That's what they say in the world of show bidness. At here at Snarkling Clean, we think that bit o' wisdom should be heeded in the romance world, too.

Reluctant Witness

Y'know, for our money, nothing says romance like forcing a child to relive an event that's obviously traumatized him. Just makes us go all warm and fuzzy.

Daddy Next Door

He looks waaaay too happy to have a neighbor's kid attached to his leg. The little girl is beaming, too, but Mommy has that smile-politely-but-let's-get-the-heck-out-of-here look. Ah, we know the scheme. Neighbor boy paid the opportunistic little tyke so he could hit on Mommy, right? We certainly hope so. If that's not it, we're going to be seriously creeped out.

Expecting Thunder's Baby

These just aren't worth it when the snarks write themselves. You don't really need us for this, do you? We're gonna hit Starbuck's.

Critical Exposure

At this point we are wondering about the art department staff meetings at Harlequin. Do you think they got this cover art switched with some other book possibly titled...oh, I dunno...The American Millionaire's Secret Love Child Who Likes to Play With His Undone Collar? They wouldn't seriously want to give us this image with the words EXPOSURE and SECURITY BREACH, would they? Well, would they?

Don't answer that.


Blogger StarvingWriteNow said...

Security Breach... in his condom! LOL!!!

Frankly, if I bought Intrigues, I sure as heck wouldn't be turned on by a staring child on the cover. He looks like the Dementors got to him.

Expecting Thunder's Baby--Great Scot! You can get pregnant by THUNDER???

Daddy Next Door--The kid looks like she's humping his leg. Eeuww!

4:01 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

What Starving said.
Squick, squick, squick.

4:35 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

These are gloriously squicky, aren't they? That Next Door guy just makes me howl. Guys generally don't want their OWN children that close to the package.

7:14 AM  
Blogger spyscribbler said...

Seriously, Robyn! It was a little squicky.

And funny. :-)

8:02 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

Was the reluctant witness drugged?

And how do you say, with a straight face, that you are expecting Thunder's baby?
"Who's yo baby daddy?"
"Whoo-eee, girl!"
That just aint right, people.

And does the daddy next door look emaciated to anyone else? I'm thinking he has a disease next door and might not be the best person for little Sally to be clingin on to. Just sayin.

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

Oh, that's just too funny! Love these. :)

4:14 PM  
Blogger quirkychild said...

*howling on the floor*

Expecting Thunder's Baby! Just too good. The guy on the cover is certainly smug enough.

I was at Goodwill recently and saw a title that made me think of you guys. It was Harlequin Presents (naturally) and it was called "Pregnancy of Revenge"...nearly bust out right there in the store.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Obviously, a man must have thought of that title. NO WOMAN EVER thinks of pregnancy as revenge against anyone but her own figure.

7:26 PM  
Blogger December Quinn said...

Does anyone else think that the Daddy Next Door Mom looks is though she's trying to push that kid on the guy? "She love you long time!"

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

5:06 AM  
Blogger Jennifer McK said...

Doesn't anyone think about how awful that sounds when they put a picture of a baby and the word "exposure"?

*shakes head* Please, someone shoot me if I EVER write a book with the word "pregnant" in it.

With my luck, some editor will insist I change my title to "Pregnant Pause" or some crazy thing.

Love the snark you guys. "She love you long time" December. LOL.

6:29 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

My husband wants you all to note that Thunder's mood ring is blue.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Roger comes up with the most interesting observations.

DQ! "She love you long time." HA!

And Quirky, I almost bought that book, but figured a heroine who thought she could get revenge with a pregnancy was waaaay too stupid to live.

4:48 PM  

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