Prayers, Please
Some of you may remember that two years ago, my mom died of lung cancer. I'm very sorry to say that Missie's father has passed away, with the same disease. She may lurk when she needs a break, but I'll make sure she gets any condolences you'd like to send.
Losing loved ones to cancer truly is the club no one wants to join. And the difference in our situations just points to the fact that cancer makes no damn sense.
Let's just say that Missie's dad wasn't Jack LaLane and leave it there. Doing The Good Thing For Your Body wasn't number one on his list. My mom was health itself. Missie's dad smoked; my mom smoked but quit twenty years before she developed cancer. He didn't do everything 'right' and lived for two years after his diagnosis of Stage Four. My mom did everything you're supposed to, and died six months after her diagnosis of Stage Three.
I'm so angry about so many things. I was angry that we had to watch my mother slip away and know there wasn't a thing we could do about it. I was angry that she had to lay on a table, with her breasts exposed for the radiation, arms flung out for the chemo pumping into her veins, and she had to just lie there and take it. These white-coated people literally poured poison into her two different ways, and she couldn't obey her first, natural impulse to fight.
I'm angry that forever after, my children and grandchildren will have to put a check next to the cancer box on their medical histories. I'm angry that I get scared if I develop a cough. I'm angry that sometimes I still dream about her and the next day I'm no good to anyone. I'm angry that the things she would have loved seeing, my children's prom pictures and graduation and college freshman mania, she won't.
But mostly, I'm angry that now my best friend has to go through all this. For those of you who have your health, thank God and go hug your family. If you don't, go hug your family harder. You can also go here and here to see what you can do to make sure that as few people as possible ever join this club.
Losing loved ones to cancer truly is the club no one wants to join. And the difference in our situations just points to the fact that cancer makes no damn sense.
Let's just say that Missie's dad wasn't Jack LaLane and leave it there. Doing The Good Thing For Your Body wasn't number one on his list. My mom was health itself. Missie's dad smoked; my mom smoked but quit twenty years before she developed cancer. He didn't do everything 'right' and lived for two years after his diagnosis of Stage Four. My mom did everything you're supposed to, and died six months after her diagnosis of Stage Three.
I'm so angry about so many things. I was angry that we had to watch my mother slip away and know there wasn't a thing we could do about it. I was angry that she had to lay on a table, with her breasts exposed for the radiation, arms flung out for the chemo pumping into her veins, and she had to just lie there and take it. These white-coated people literally poured poison into her two different ways, and she couldn't obey her first, natural impulse to fight.
I'm angry that forever after, my children and grandchildren will have to put a check next to the cancer box on their medical histories. I'm angry that I get scared if I develop a cough. I'm angry that sometimes I still dream about her and the next day I'm no good to anyone. I'm angry that the things she would have loved seeing, my children's prom pictures and graduation and college freshman mania, she won't.
But mostly, I'm angry that now my best friend has to go through all this. For those of you who have your health, thank God and go hug your family. If you don't, go hug your family harder. You can also go here and here to see what you can do to make sure that as few people as possible ever join this club.
posted by Robyn | 2:08 PM
9 Comments:
Hugs to both of you! I'm so sorry for your losses. :(
I'm so sorry. My deepest sympathies to both of you.
my deepest condolences.
my grandmother died of lung cancer 12 years ago. she smoked up until she gave birth to my mom (the 6th child of 11). her husband (my paternal grandpa) has been diagnosed with lung cancer right after he had a mild stroke just recently. he had quit smoking many many years ago. i don't know for how long we'll have him with us but right now, i'm making the most out of our time together.
everytime i see a smoker, i become incredibly affected. that disgusting habit has consequences that will not affect only the smoker's body.
may the Lord grant you comfort and peace during these times, missie.
So sorry, Missie.
Robyn, I know it's hard.
My condolences to both of you and my prayers to God for you and your families.
Oh, you guys.
Your comments mean more than you will ever know.
I want my daddy back.
Gail, I'm sorry. Hopefully your time with your grandpa will be wonderful.
I know, Missie. Go hug your babies and call me if you need to.
I love to lurk here, but I don't believe I've ever posted. I felt compelled to come out though and tell you both how sorry I am for you losses.
My partner lost her mother to mouth cancer (thanks to smoking) when she was just a teenager. It's so devastating and I have such empathy for anyone who loses a loved one to cancer. I know time only dulls the pain and another loss brings that pain to the surface all over again. You'll both be in my thoughts.
Annie,
Thank you for your condolences. You are welcome to delurk here any time.
Cancer seriously sucks.
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