Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Come On, You Know You Want It

One of these, that is.

For the uniniated, that's a time machine. I suppose most people of my generation got their first exposure to the wonders of time travel through H.G. Wells' classic, and the 1960 movie from whence came this image. For that and its awful remake, the story followed the usual cautionary science tale textbook: Defy all the physical laws. At first, you get this:

Hey, this time travel stuff may not be so bad. Then, of course, you get this:

I HATE it when that happens. Especially when you find out it was all our fault anyway. I'll say one thing for The Time Machine, and the totally cool movie based on Wells' adventures, Time After Time. Those stories went forward in time. It's amazing how few do.

My love affair with time travel continued with that most hallowed of organizations, Public Television. PBS introduced me to classic British series, most notably this one:

Doctor Who. With Tom Baker, the only real one, IMO. And I so did not care that the sets were falling apart, you could see the zippers up the back of the monsters' costumes, and that sidekick Sarah Jane screeching "Doctor! Doctor!" was way more annoying than their robotic enemies the Daleks screeching "Exterminate! Exterminate!" I just loved seeing the Doctor go into that tiny police call box that became this huge spaceship inside. The TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, for you non-geeks) went to other dimensions, not just other times. But even back then, I kept waiting for the Doctor and Sarah to have a moment, if you follow. If there's even a chance of romance, I'll find it and obsess about it.

Other books, movies, and t.v. series have dealt with time travel, some cheesy, some not. Quantum Leap was definitely one of the best- and I liked the premise that Sam could only travel the years of his own lifetime. The short-lived series Voyagers! was horribly cheeseworthy- but who cared as long as you got to stare at Jon-Erik Hexum?

The big blonde, BTW, not the kid. The kid's name was Meeno Pelucci. Why do I remember these facts? Because of the various things I could do with the gift of my extraordinary human brain, I use mine as a vast storehouse for useless trivia. But that's a whole different post.

It was inevitable, I suppose, that romance writers would turn to time travel. What's more angsty than having to choose between your time, home, family and your love? My favorite time travel author is Lyn Kurland. She does it all- time travel, ghosts, you name it. She favors the magical over the scientific- her heroines step into fairy rings and go to Elizabethan England and see Shakespeare at The Globe or fall asleep on benches in Central Park and wake up in medieval Scotland. Our friend Bernita is writing a very interesting yarn about a time traveller, and her heroine's abilities are DNA based, coming down through her lineage.

If I did travel through time, I'd go to the past. I'm a history geek. Which means, if I'm planning on it, I'd better brush up on my Old English or my Norman French because I'm a nerdy professor who speaks old languages or my Gaelic courtesy of a grandfather from the Old Country who insisted I learn it. That's the prescribed method in the books, right? I want to go prepared, with medicine and hand sanitizer and chocolate. And I don't want to wander around complaining about re-enactors or movie sets or madmen for half the book while it finally sinks in that yes, dummy, only 13th century England could smell like this. So I guess I'll have to go the scientific route, and build myself a TARDIS outfitted with a Coke machine, a LazyBoy and satellite.

Although, the next time I see a fairy ring, I just may step into it. And if this greets my eyes-

So be it.


Blogger Jen said...

I'm with you. I'd love to VISIT the past. I don't think I want to live there. Unlike most historicals, that avoid silly details like baths and so on, I know that the past is full of hard working masses struggling to survive. I look at historicals as an time machine without the pesky motion sickness.
My favorite is "A Magnificent Rogue" by Iris Johansen which is based on the premise that Queen Elizabeth had an illegitimate child with Robert Dudley. I love books based in Elizabeth I times. Would I want to live there? NOOOOO.
Ahh, Highlander. *Sigh*.

9:07 AM  
Blogger Julie Carobini said...

Oooh, I loved Time after Time. Great twist (or is it twisted?) at the end.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

I would loooove the Scotland of the past...if it had Diet Pepsi, Godiva chocolate, and Bath & Body Works...

"Excuse me, Mr. McClansman? I totally appreciate you saving me from the marauding badguy otherclansmen people with the really ugly plaids by using your CLAYMORE THAT YOU WIELDED LIKE IT WAS A TINY LITTLE BABY NINJA SWORD FROM THE DOLLAR STORE, but before you try to kiss me and claim me as your own, could you maybe bathe and floss? Thanks so much."

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

I'll take a Roman gladiator, thanks. They bathed daily. :)

4:38 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Missie, you remembered! Sigh.

Okay, so Roman gladiators bathed, but didn't they do it with dozens of other men? No thanks.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

I'll only take the gladiator if he looked like Russell Crowe. But then maybe he would throw a cell phone at me if he got mad...but, cell phones in gladiator times right? Never mind.

8:09 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

Aw, Robyn, thank you.
You needn't ask if I like time travel and temptation.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Camy Tang said...

How about some hot latin men from Spain? Zorro, baby!


1:42 AM  
Blogger LotionBarBunny said...

Dr. Who I watched religiously as a kid!

Quantum Leap! OMG that used to be my favorite show!!!

5:23 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

Wow. Quantam Leap. That is going waaaay back. I loved that show. It was the sole reason I figured out how to work the timer on my VCR. Remember those? Hahaha!

7:28 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home