Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Should've Gone For Captain Hook

A friend and I were talking the other day about the personality we used to take on when in relationships. Most women I know, especially in their youth, change when they are with a guy. My friend, a smart, sassy brunette, became a BLONDE. Complete with giggles, simpers, and stooopidity. She hated herself when she got like that, but seemed powerless to overcome it. I thought about who I was back in those dating days, and can admit it now.

I was Wendy.

Wendy Moira Angela Darling, to be precise. Over and over and over again. I think some self-help guru actually wrote a book about the syndrome back in the eighties, and I was certainly a victim.

I always fell for the charmer who swept me off my feet, carried me to a fairy-tale land, and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world.

And of course, when he wanted me to cook and clean when the Lost Boys came over, who was I to say no? Even when they shot me out of the sky, I was good-natured about it.

He was so boyishly cute, and apparently naive. When I got angry because he was flirting outrageously with the mermaids and Tiger Lily and pressed him about it, he looked at me innocently and said, "What?" But I loved him, so I stayed.

I stayed until the day he thanked me. THANKED me. For what? For teaching him how to open his heart, how to love again. Unfortunately, when he learned how to love he found out who he really loved was Tinkerbell, and dumped my butt back in London while they sailed off in a golden boat.

Sigh...I finally got over my Peter Pan fetish. But now that I think about it, I wonder if that's one of the reasons I loved romances so much. For all the trials and tribulations, most romance heroines- be they boss, spunky kid, or helpless waif- don't put up with crap like that. In fact, there's usually a spot in the book where she will call everything off if he won't fess up to loving her, and marry her in the bargain. If he calls her on it, she'll wave as he leaves, not settling for less.

I couldn't do that IRL most of the time. A lot of women I know wouldn't do that. We settled, because if we didn't, he'd leave. Of course in stories, he always comes back, giving the heroine what she needs and meaning it. Real men just might not come back. Too bad it takes so many years to find out that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Did you ever change who you were to keep a boyfriend?


Blogger Jessica said...

To keep a boyfriend...No. But to get one, you better believe it! I guess I am more like a guy in that way, eh?

12:22 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

Nooo, don't think so...supress for awhile, maybe...

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

For the very first one, yes. I thought if I were a sweet enough girlfriend, the girl who was always there for him, he'd love me. How pathetic. Luckily, I came to my senses and realized that love is a two ways street. My husband was MUCH different!

4:34 PM  
Blogger Gail T. said...

that's a really funny wendy story. i'm going to be a new reader/blog lurker.

i've never had a boyfriend, so I have no real answer. :)

k, on to reading the archives...

9:31 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

My problem was different.

I didn't change to get them, I purposely did whatever I could to be obnoxious so that he would know exactly what he was getting. I overdid my independence and overgave my opinions and overfought during arguments, etc. Surprisingly, I still did get boyfriends, but basically had the attitude "If you don't like it, get out."

Keep in mind, this was for all boyfriends but the first. I think he may have made me that way by breaking up with me for a cuter, more popular girl, but I don't want to foist of the responsibility on him. (although he was a scuzzymeanymcnerdybutt for dumping me).

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Kaitlin said...

Hey Robyn! :) I liked this entry. Made me think. I've never really gone out of my way to change myself to get/keep a relationship...too much of a realist, I guess. :)

I'm having a writing contest on my blog.

I'd love to see something of yours. The last one written on here was amazing! :)

6:06 PM  
Anonymous Jenny said...

Yep. I have a tendency to dumb myself down. I don't know why. It just feels like the feminine thing to do.

How terribly pathetic.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Hi, Gail T! Thanks for dropping by.

11:20 PM  

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