Should've Gone For Captain Hook

A friend and I were talking the other day about the personality we used to take on when in relationships. Most women I know, especially in their youth, change when they are with a guy. My friend, a smart, sassy brunette, became a BLONDE. Complete with giggles, simpers, and stooopidity. She hated herself when she got like that, but seemed powerless to overcome it. I thought about who I was back in those dating days, and can admit it now.

I was Wendy.



Wendy Moira Angela Darling, to be precise. Over and over and over again. I think some self-help guru actually wrote a book about the syndrome back in the eighties, and I was certainly a victim.

I always fell for the charmer who swept me off my feet, carried me to a fairy-tale land, and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world.

And of course, when he wanted me to cook and clean when the Lost Boys came over, who was I to say no? Even when they shot me out of the sky, I was good-natured about it.

He was so boyishly cute, and apparently naive. When I got angry because he was flirting outrageously with the mermaids and Tiger Lily and pressed him about it, he looked at me innocently and said, "What?" But I loved him, so I stayed.

I stayed until the day he thanked me. THANKED me. For what? For teaching him how to open his heart, how to love again. Unfortunately, when he learned how to love he found out who he really loved was Tinkerbell, and dumped my butt back in London while they sailed off in a golden boat.



Sigh...I finally got over my Peter Pan fetish. But now that I think about it, I wonder if that's one of the reasons I loved romances so much. For all the trials and tribulations, most romance heroines- be they boss, spunky kid, or helpless waif- don't put up with crap like that. In fact, there's usually a spot in the book where she will call everything off if he won't fess up to loving her, and marry her in the bargain. If he calls her on it, she'll wave as he leaves, not settling for less.

I couldn't do that IRL most of the time. A lot of women I know wouldn't do that. We settled, because if we didn't, he'd leave. Of course in stories, he always comes back, giving the heroine what she needs and meaning it. Real men just might not come back. Too bad it takes so many years to find out that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Did you ever change who you were to keep a boyfriend?