Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

My Image Is Ruined

Both of my kids are in advanced math classes.

They didn't get it from me, I assure you. I can manage to keep the checkbook mostly balanced and I can double or half a recipe, but that's the extent of my mathematical talents.

Trouble is, they both have homework. Homework they need help with.


I live in mortal fear of the call from the kitchen table:

"MOM! I don't get this!"

Like I do?

Language arts- I'm there. Social studies- encyclopedia is my middle name. Music, art, computers? Yes, honey, I'll be right with you.

Science? Well, besides that one project that went wrong...

But math is undermining my status as The Woman Who Knows Everything. I'm convinced that the wonderful parental relationship I have with my kids is due to their belief that I am omniscient. Mommy Sees All.

How else can I insure safe behavior? I know what you do when you get around the corner. How else do I garner respect? You better not say what you're thinking. How else do I instill the proper awe? (said from a portion of the house where darling knows I can't see him/her come down the stairs) Just turn right around and go put on a decent shirt.

Mathematics is teaching my children one thing, and one thing only.

Mommy don't know jack 'bout numbers. But she can put in a pretty good bluff when she needs to.


Anonymous Michelle said...

I love that last cartoon! My little geek brain yelled: "X is 5!" before I saw the point. Isn't that sad?

Anyway, hard math problems build character. That's what my mother always said. I'll bet she didn't know how to work the problems either. LOL.

6:48 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Yes, you are a geek! There is treatment for that, you know! ;)

With ya, sister. Math and I have a love/hate relationship. Teachers love to give it for homework, and I hate seeing the worksheets.

7:11 AM  
Blogger OzzatLarge said...

I am with all of the mathmatically challenged souls out there. I can tell who is playing guitar from a 2 second excerpt of a song, tell you what's wrong with your copier or printer from a single piece of paper, conjure up parts from scratch that would make MacGyver himself jump with glee, tell you who beat me up in 5th grade and all the bystanders, or how much it costs to send a 1 lb package to Germany. But when it comes to computation, math and I do not see I to eye. I could not help my kids with math if it was at gunpoint. But that is OK, I make up for it in debonaire, Just ask Jess but don't be surprised if you hear hysterical laughing when you ask her.I am a legend in my own mind that way. I have been called a geek because I don't know math, what's the deal.

1:05 PM  
Blogger quirkychild said...

Ha! Love the last cartoon.

I have a loathe/hate/despise/revile relationship with math. It's that bad. For me, a world without numbers would be a happier place.

Hope you can keep up the charade!

2:24 PM  
Blogger LotionBarBunny said...

I am extremely bad at math too. And my son is a math I know he did not inherit that from me.

And omg to the HUGE bunny!!!

7:14 AM  

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