Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Shameless Plug

Since Robyn came clean and confessed exactly what kind of ho she is (because we were all wondering), I decided the least I could do would be to come out of the closet myself.

Hello, my name is Missie, and I am a body product ho.

If you lined up all the lotions, bath gels, smelly soaps, and bubble bath I have in my home, it could probably circle the Earth twice. Okay, not really. Just my house twice. No, maybe my house once. Okay, okay, maybe it would just make a nice little pile in my living room, but we are digressing, people! What I am trying to say is that I am addicted to body products and consider myself to be a connoisseur of all things lotiony.

When my daughter Alison was about four months old, she developed dry, flaky, red skin on her cheeks. This problem was exacerbated by the NEVER ENDING RIVER OF DROOL that she produced and the wiping, wiping, wiping of the drool by moi. I tried putting different things on her cheeks to make them better, but none of the products in my arsenal improved her condition. I was at a loss about what to do, and was about ready to make Ali an appointment with a dermatologist.
HELP! I have dry, cracked cheeks...and am wearing sweet potatoes.

As a last resort, I contacted our very own lotionbarbunny, whom I found through another mommy blog. She sells Country Bunny Bath and Body products, so I emailed her about Ali’s problem. She recommended I try the CB Satin Shea Body Butter on her cheeks, followed by the Baby Lotion Bar. People…let me tell you. This stuff works. Ali’s facial cheeks are as soft as her…well, other cheeks, and it only took about four days. I have also been putting the butter and lotion bar on Zach’s arms and legs (the kid has skin like a lizard), and I have really seen an improvement. The Powder Fresh scent is so nice and..well, fresh and not overly powdery, so you won’t smell like your grandma.

Look at me! I am soft and smelly in a good way again! Yay for Country Bunny!

The lotion bar is just the coolest thing. It looks like a bar of soap, but it’s..lotion! Hence the name. It comes in this little plastic container so you can drop it in your purse to take with you. I am not kidding when I say that this stuff is the greatest thing in my book since the marriage of chocolate and peanut butter. And because lotionbarbunny is so nice, she included lots of rockin’ samples in my order. She did that just to further hook me on the products, proving she is a body product selling ho, but I forgive her for that. The Daily Moisturizer with Soy is the best moisturizer I have ever tried—and I have used everything from Lancome to Avon. The Salt Scrub is a whole bunch of wonderfulness encased in a little plastic container. It left my skin so soft and the Oatmeal & Honey scent was so yummy that I almost spread the rest of my sample on a slice of bread and had a little snack.

And now…a word from our sponsors...

I am having a Country Bunny Bath and Body Internet Party (say that three times real fast) and you all are invited! I know, you weren’t expecting anything as wonderful as this to happen to you today, but there ya go. You can view the products by going to lotionbarbunny’s website at If you do order anything, be sure to copy down your invoice number, then drop lotionbarbunny an email stating it was for Missie’s Party. Or you could just leave a comment here on the blog and I will make sure she gets the info.

Because, people? I want some free stuff. And I get free and discounted stuff if you order. (You could book an Internet party of your own, too, if you really loved me and were my friend). And I don’t invite you to parties all the time, do I? I mean, when was the last time I showed up at your door right in the middle of dinner, just to invite you to some lame party where there are a lot of over-priced dust catchers that you feel you have to buy or you will hurt my feelings? Huh? You can’t remember, can you? See, I don’t abuse my friends like that. Because I love you. All of you. Well, maybe not Jessica. Especially when she says I am mentally ill because I am always cleaning my house and no one cleans her house that much and shouldn’t I get a real life and why am I always doing dishes when I am talking to her on the phone and can’t I just sit down for a stinkin’ minute and why am I worried about organizing my pantry and there is medication for that! But that’s a whole ‘nother post.

But seriously, if you are looking for some good body products, check out Country Bunny. And do it before March 14th. Cuz that’s when my party ends. And CB is putting out their new spring brochures on the 17th, which may or may not include price increases. Their prices are reasonable compared to the other big body product chains out there, so give them a try. And because lotionbarbunny is a stay-at-home mom, let’s help her out for making the choice to be home for her kidlets. If you don't buy anything, her children will probably starve and be forced to live in the street. But no pressure.

So to recap in case there is blood leaking out of your eyes from reading my rambling post:
Missie’s Party is now til March 14th
Go to to order.
Send email to lotionbarbunny or comment to me with invoice # so she credits me and I get lots of free stuff and love you forever.
Missie excels in body product ho-age and is not above using her blog for personal gain.

Look at the pretty baby. The baby wants you to buy some stuff. Buy some stuff so the pretty baby's face doesn't freeze like this. If you sell your plasma, you can buy more stuff.

(the pretty baby is crying out for help! Help me, says the pretty baby. My mom is soliciting people she doesn't even know to buy stuff and using my image without my express written consent! Someone call the authorities right away! Help the pretty baby.)


Blogger Robyn said...

First, the baby pics. Say it with me everyone- AWWWWWWW.

Second, I have some extra cash from our tax refund, which I can always blow on bath stuff.

Third, Missie my friend, YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP. And yes, you do cleean your house too much and I too am tired of hearing water running when I am trying to talk to you on the phone.

7:20 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

Preach it sister!!! It's unnerving.

7:38 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Robyn and Jessica,
You are just jealous. Jealous, I say, of my organized pantry and dishpan hands!

You know I do love you both, right?

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...


Oh, I am just going to come and eat that baby up. Such a SWEETHEART. Little kissable cheeks.

Stop! I do NOT need a third child right now. Must. Stop. Looking. At. Cute. Babies!

4:29 PM  
Blogger Missie said...

Come on! You know you want another little drama queen! Or maybe another constant-sound-effect-machine?
It's a conspiracy, isn't it? The babies are so cute and cuddly and wonderful...until you get one! HA!

6:33 PM  
Blogger Jolene*Marie said...

hehe she is REALLY cute. Love the last picture there haha it reminds me of a face the little girl I babysit for would make. Hey Michelle, just offer to babysit for a baby. I guarantee you wont even want some goldfish afterward. :-P

~Jo, who just accepted an offer to watch a newborn two days ago..

5:53 AM  

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