Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Puritan Swimwear Classics

Girls, I found the Must-Haves for summer at No more unsightly ripples or bulges will be noticable in these! Imagine yourself by the pool or at the beach in this!

As the ads say, it's swimwear designed to show off your face! What a concept! I'm so glad. With this skirted suit, no one will see or care that I have pasty-Canadian winter-fish underbelly colored legs. No more self-tanner!

Or this! A fetching skort for when you're feeling extra sporty! And don't worry, I'm sure all the flappy wetsuit material doesn't weigh you down or impede actual swimming at all.

And, let's face it, ladies. Some of us could use the help this 'slimming' version could give us. Yes, I can picture my summer day now- absolutely freed from worry over a poochy tummy or cellulite by wearing a total body girdle in 100 degree heat. And just think of how nice it will feel when it's wet! My husband will be so proud to sport his woman up and down the beach, savoring the looks he'll get from all the other obviously jealous men.

I'm gonna be so HOTT!!!


Blogger Bernita said...

You will - especially if it doesn't come in white...

2:16 AM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

OMG! They've started advertising raincoats and wet suits as swimwear. Who knew it was so sexy? :)

7:23 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

I can totally picture you on the next cover of Burka Babes with outfits like those to choose from!

You will be so hot...and bothered.

10:24 AM  
Blogger quirkychild said...

I think they call it a "slimming suit" because you will sweat off all those unsightly pounds while wearing this out.

I think the site was constructed to provide swimsuits for Amish or Mennonite families. I'm serious!

I'm sure you will be all the rage at the beach!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Bibliophile Bitch said...

Umm, that's just wrong. Sorry. Can't see this happening with the teenage girls I know, unless they're members of the Branch Davidian.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Doug Hoffman said...

You've been hanging with the Muffins, Robyn?

9:48 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

This is so sad...I don't think I can stand it. Just tattoo "OPPRESSED" on their forehead and the look is complete. Kudos to them for being creatively modest, I guess. Geez.

3:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home