Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Titles That Made Us Go Whaaaaa?

Don’t worry, the covers will still make your retinas want to detach themselves out of self-preservation, but this time the titles put our minds on tilt. To wit:

After The Abduction

Robyn: Apparently, a sleighride! Will we have cocoa and s'mores after the ransom note's mailed?
Missie: The latest in the Currier & Ives collection, After the Abduction tells the story of a spunky young damsel who gets herself in a pickle by getting kidnapped by a really nice man with a sleigh. Your family will love looking at this lovely collector's plate year after year while gathered around the Christmas tree. Yours now for only $19.95.

Mexican Caress

Robyn: Is that anything like the Vulcan Nerve Pinch? But I don't know if either of these two is qualified- neither of them are remotely Mexican.

Missie: I believe the correct term would be The Undocumented Worker Caress. We cannot be judgmental, people. They just want to come here for a better life, a chance to work, and to feel up vaguely Hispanic women.

Saddle The Wind

Robyn: Y'know, most men I've met don't want to saddle their wind. They want it to fly, proud and strong, into the air surrounding ballparks and bathrooms and recliners. To go where it will, wilting plant life and women's pride in its wake. Whether it is silent and deadly or symphonic and thunderous, their wind must be free!

Missie: Eeew. I have nothing more to say.

EDIT: Robyn's husband says: And to release this wind, pull here...

The Unexpected Pregnancy

Robyn: At last- a little reality in a romance. Part One of a series that includes The Shotgun Wedding, The Messy Divorce, and The Underpaid Overworked Single Mother.

Missie: And don’t miss the exciting prequel, The Forgotten Birth Control Pill.

Up next: VIKING RAID!!!


Blogger Camy Tang said...

LOL! You guys are nuts!

And BTW Robyn, I saw your comment on Romancing the Blog today and just about died laughing! I wish I could be even half as funny as you do without effort. You make me sick.


7:15 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

My pleasure. ;) I can't take credit for the comment, though. That was all Mom.

8:18 PM  
Blogger quirkychild said... always makes me wonder, how did these covers get past the publishers? Did the authors come up with those perplexingly bad titles, or do the editors change them and they haunt the poor creatures every time they pass the bookshelves?

"After the Abduction...*shudder*...the last time I trust the stinkin' publisher."

Of course, great comments as always! Mexican Caress? Is the blond guy who obviously fell asleep on the tanning bed supposed to be the Mexican? Or Miss Milk-White-I-Swear-I-Don't-Die-My-Hair?

Anyway, wonderful post, can't wait for the Vikings!

9:05 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

Ahem. Notice the low-slung-gun in the Mexican cover...
The last one made me wonder if she said,"I didn't know I could get pregnant in this position!"

I love this blog.

3:52 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Let me preface this comment by saying I LOVE Lucy Monroe BUT..."His Royal Love Child" is her new title released last week.
........What? Yup. That's the name of it.
How about (continuing the reality theme) "She Finally Gets Off". "Premarital Sex, Marriage Follows".

4:59 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Jen, we're absolutely gonna do a post dedicated to the Greeks, Sheikhs, Italians, and Millionaire Cowboys of HQP.

4:10 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

LOL!! Saddle the Wind made me snort. What a HORRIBLE title!!

4:02 AM  
Blogger Normal Mom said...

tooo funny! i love the undocumented worker title. you made me smile in the "witching hour." that's a tough thing to do.

3:21 PM  

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