Snarkling Clean

Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Worst of the Worst

Good Lord above, make sure you can dial 911 if necessary.

Emily's Daughter



Robyn: Now, wait...is she holding a picture of her daughter, or is she pregnant with her daughter? Is she so upset with the hideous dress she got stuck with she tried to rip the veil out of her hair?

Missie: Emily's daughter took one look at this dress and ran away from home. Along with Emily's fiancé, Emily's parents, and all Emily's friends.

Get Lucky



Robyn: Don’t we have enough movies about ordinary, plump guys getting hot women? We don’t need books, too!

Missie: A highlighted Jack Black does not say "romance" to me.

Moment of Truth



Robyn: His hand is down his pants. Her hand is in his pocket. Knowing what I know about guys, shouldn't he be happier right now?

Missie: What you can't see is the shiv she's sticking in his ribs while she's trying to get at his wallet. Back pocket, honey, it's in the baaaack pocket.

$he's on the Money



Robyn: Dude, if I saw a woman in the grocery store wearing that, I’d faint too.

Missie: More like She's On the Crack because no one not under the influence of illegal drugs would wear that outfit.

The Nanny Solution



Robyn: Nothing says luurve like a mutant baby in a catsuit. OMG, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Missie: I am sooooo calling Children and Family Services, because nobody should do that to a helpless baby.

Solitary Soldier



Robyn: BRAINNNSSSS...
Missie: There's a reason he's solitary. And it ain't by choice.

8 Comments:

Blogger December/Stacia said...

Oh, you guys have done outdone yourselves with those! Rofl!

Ugliest wedding dress EVER. Pamela Anderson's taste in wedding attire is better than that thing.


And Brockmann actually issued smiley face stickers to put over the Pillsbury dough boy on her cover.

9:07 AM  
Blogger StarvingWriteNow said...

It's amazing how these bad covers keep coming and coming...

#1: It's Hoochie Mermaid!

#6: He looks like he just dug his way out of the grave... Yeesh!

Thanks for the laughs!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

And Brockmann actually issued smiley face stickers to put over the Pillsbury dough boy on her cover.

I heard about that, December! Too funny. I'm glad she has a sense of humor about it.

Beth, was that dress not excruciating? It looked like something from Project Runway.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Bernita said...

The authors have my deepest sympathy.

5:29 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Especially poor Debra Webb, Bernita.

6:34 AM  
Blogger Missie said...

Dear Harlequin Intrigue,

Satan just called. It seems he's missing one of his minions. Kindly return the demon from Solitary Soldier to the Prince of Darkness immediately.

7:21 AM  
Anonymous min said...

That woman in the pink (no, not that one in the terry cloth wedding gown)stole my outfit! That might even be me in that picture.

...oh and that zombie guy...I used to be married to him.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Jennifer McK said...

Dear Harlequin,
Please return borrowed wedding dress to Walmart's customer service department immediately. We have a shortage on maternity white wedding dresses and payment has not been received.

5:14 PM  

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