She's Alive, She's Alive!
In the meantime, have a happy and safe Sugar Rush Day and remember, any candy eaten while reading this blog is rendered calorie and fat free.
Snarkling Clean- because you don't have to cuss to make fun of stuff. Two dedicated readers discuss romance novels- from what made us weep with joy to what made us want to poke pencils through our eyeballs.
God alone knew why. But the guys were different- at least the ones who weren't in a heavy metal hair band. They were so cute with their feathered hair and their ripped jeans. So I took this quiz to find my perfect 80's heartthrob. They said it was Jason Bateman.
Which is okay. But I've got news for them. I had a heartthrob in the 80's, and it wasn't Jason.
It was HIM.
Take the quiz and tell me who you got! (Sorry guys. This is kind of a chick post. Unless there's something you want to tell us...)
That has got to be the ugliest man I have ever seen on a romance cover. He reminds me of the creepy carnival worker who always got a little handsy when he belted you into the Tilt-A-Whirl.
Bill gave up being a professional stalker for his new career, romance cover model. But what really would have made this cover special would be putting some flowers on it...like maybe some purple orchids.
“Simon, oh, Simon! You promised me if I played pirate with you I could be the next American Idol!”
I can’t get over the expression on her face. She’s all Dang. Those are freakin’ huge protuberances.
Actually, she's all, "Dang. What made me think being cast in Flashdance II: The Pirate Years was such a good career move?"
And now, the single worst cover evah. The winner is…
Just A Kiss Away
Chapter 98 of Robyn’s Rant WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE OUTSIDE?
Not just in a field or a stream or on a mountain, but in the middle of a waterfall!!! Yes, I could soooo be overcome by passion whilst precariously perched on rock being pelted by rushing water. Water that’s totally weighing down his jeans and my taffeta dress. I’m thinking he should know better; judging by the eye patch, he’s sustained injuries doing this kind of thing before. They're just a kiss away from multiple internal hemorrages.
See, here's where Robyn and I compliment each other. I didn't even notice the eyepatch. My thought process went something like this:
"How'd they get out there on that rock? Did they swim? And if so, why aren't they wet? How'd their hair get dry that fast? Was it the wind? Cuz if so, wouldn't that have blown them off the rock? And if they used a blowdryer, where'd they plug it in at? And it's sooo not safe to use electrical appliances in the middle of a waterfall. Or wait, is that warning only for the bathtub? Because on my dryer, it has the picture of the tub and the dryer with a big red circle with a line through it thingie. And why is he wearing jeans and she's wearing her prom dress? If they knew they were gonna go make out on a rock surrounded by water, why didn't they dress appropriately? And wouldn't her Tammy Faye eye makeup have smeared all over the place by now? Cuz dang, I can't even pass by a sink without my mascara running, and there's got to be some serious mist coming up from the water hitting the rocks and even with waterproof mascara..."
See...she makes her comments pithy and to the point. Mine meander around lost like a husband forced to endure a craft fair.
The badness will not end. Bwahahaha. Stay tuned for Horse Cover Models- end the abuse!